Where you look at your kids, and they just look older, or bigger? And all you can do is just sit there and stare at them, and hold back the wave of emotions? Where your kid just looks at you like you have a third eye because you're watching them all teary eyed? Yep. That was me today. I went out with Dallas this morning for his eye appointment, and just watching him in the chair there, all big and grown up, and reading off the letters that they wanted him to read. I can remember the first time I took him in, he was only 6 months old. And I just laughed, because honestly, how on EARTH do they accurately check a 6 month olds vision! They can't read off the chart, and tell you what letters they can and cannot see. And now, here he was today, sitting in the chair, looking so grown up, conversing with the doctor all on his own! I just sat there and stared at him. Its a good thing the doctors back was to me, because I hate to let people that I don't know see emotions. And I was pretty full of emotions just then!
And then I came home, and Kaleb and Kendyl just looked HUGE to me. I seriously did a double take. They can't be that big already can they? It can't be. Nope, uh uh. They're still babies. And then it hits me that they're only a few months away from turning THREE. Wow. The time's flying, and they're all changing too quick! And the changes just seem to happen over night. Or in this case, the two hours that it takes to run to a doctors appointment!
I can remember thinking after each of my kids were born, what would they look like when they were older, and had hair, and were walking around? What would their voice sound like? What kind of personality would they have. And looking around at my kids, and thinking back at that moment, its almost enough to bring me to tears! The time has gone way. too. fast. Its so unreal to me just how quickly the time goes.
When I think about the in between, and all the memories I have, I'm very happy, and I hope that I'll be able to hold each moment, and cherish it as a memory for a long time to come. but the sad part is all the things I've already forgotten! That's why I'm so thankful for technology. I can capture the little moments on film, (or disk, with the newest technology!) and I can look back on it and remember with fondness!
It startles me to think that in just 11 years Dallas will be an "adult". Wow. I don't know how I'm going to handle that. I've contemplated over the last 7 years how I would be able to handle my babies growing up, and leaving home. Sure, I may have my moments where I think to myself, "hurry up and grow up so things aren't so hard!" But I don't know that I'll be a good empty nester. I don't know that I'll be one who really thoroughly enjoys having a quiet house. I think I'll miss it.
Just reminds me how much I have to try to take in every detail, every sound, every laugh, and every smell now. While they're little, and they still think their mommy is the best!!!! I need to dig my heals in a little and slow things down, and just enjoy them, while they're little. Because as time has proven already, blink, and its gone.
6 comments:
OH! You have me all teary-eyed just reading this! See what a sap I am!
I have totally been there- sitting in the chair, looking at my child/children, and wondering where the time went. HOLY! It goes too fast!
awwww...I swear...something's in the air that is telling me to slow down these days and really relish the moments. Everywhere I turn, there's someone writing, talking or singing about this same idea and how it goes by so fast. There's a country song out right now...I honestly have only heard the whole thing like once, all the way through...but the last verse is about a mom and the repairman telling her that she'll miss this stage...I swear, I well up every time I hear it...
Oh yes, the song "don't blink". Its SO true!
Its actually amazing to me how much it can catch you off guard, how much its just almost a slap in the face of WOW! LOOK AT YOU!!!
Yep, btdt. Sometimes it's almost depressing lol.
I have to keep reminding myself that D is my last and that I won't get all of these fun baby moments again.
Last night Isaac woke me up saying, "I wet, mommy. I wet!" I got up and when I went to tuck him in I saw a puddle on his bed. He'd peed through his diaper, his clothes, and enough that there was a puddle formed on his bed.
Seriously tired, I started stripping his bed (after I changed him), and told him to just sit on his floor for a mintue while I did it. And he says, "I sorry, mommy. I sorry."
I looked at him, and my eyes welled up because a) he had nothing to be sorry about, and b) when did he get old enough and verbal enough to even CARE if he should be sorry or not (and then express it to me).
Today he told me he was tired and 'want bed'.
How/when did he get so ... big? I mean, just because you TURN two doesn't mean you need to ACT two! And how does it happen so quickly?
Liam told me he wanted to join the 'squat team' (S.W.A.T.) when he's older. I told him "Over my dead body, mister!" Then I relented and said, "All right. I won't stand in the way of your dreams, but you need to promise me you'll wear a kevlar scuba suit under your clothes." He smiled and said, "Okay mom, I promise. I'll just take it off as soon as I get there." Flash forward to the days when he'll leave the house dressed a certain way, and arrive dressed entirely different. Or maybe its more Hannah that will hit that stage. Either way, I just realized how much he's grown and changed.
*sigh*
Now I've hijacked your blog!
SORRY!!
I know what you mean! I have been dealing with this with the boys. Every since Colton started walking it seems like they have grown up overnight! My how time flies!
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