What would you do?

Today Gabriel was our only kiddo in school. Dallas was sent home "sick" yesterday. (they read his temp at 101.5, I got him home not even 20 minutes later and it read at 98.5. In his defense it DID go up that night to 100.3, so I let him stay home today to recoop) So anyway, skip to the end of the day. Dallas had laid down to rest because he wasn't feeling the greatest. I asked my sister in law if she could give Gabe a ride home, since she'd be there to pick up my nephew Kyle. Gabe gets home, and I noticed right out of the car that he had on a different hat than his own. When he came in I asked him about it. He said that the people at recess told him to put it on to wear because his was gone. I then asked him why his own hat was gone. He told me that at breakfast that morning a "big kid" came by him, took his hat off his head and claimed it as his own. I asked him if he told anyone. He said yes, he went and told G. the lunch room aid. I then asked him what G. did. He said G. asked him what color the student was (we have a very diverse school here), what grade he was in, and what color Gabe's hat was. Things didn't go farther than that. So, when it came to recess they told Gabe to use a lost and found hat to keep his head warm.

My question to you is how would you have handled the news? I was VERY upset to hear what had happened. As I think any parent would have been. But what would your next step have been?

My next step was to email his teacher, to see if I could see what she'd heard of the situation. I didn't want to pursue anything any farther until I'd confirmed Gabe's story. I mean, after all he is only 6, and the hat he came home with was batman. Batman just so happens to be his favorite character. I could see it going something like this: Gabe lost his hat in the morning. Gabe saw a batman hat that he wanted. Gabe told a story to the lunch aid and got the hat use out of the deal. I talked extensively to Gabe before sending the email. Telling him I was going to email his teacher about the problem. I told him that after doing that the teacher would likely email G. to see what happened, and how things were followed up with. And that if he was lying, now would be the time to tell me because one way or the other I'd get the truth from G. He assured me he was telling the truth and that G. would confirm that. So I sent the email. His teacher emailed me back with this:

Jamie,
Thank you for writing! I can tell you are upset and I hear what you are saying. No one should be bullied and Gabe should not have his hat taken by someone at breakfast. No, I didn't hear about this but I was in a meeting this morning and had a sub in the classroom. By the time I got to the classroom Gabe probably forgot. Even if he remembered to tell me, I'm not sure I would have found the hat or the boy but I would have followed up and checked it out.

I am forwarding this on to G., Mr H. (Dean of Students) and Mr R. (AP) hoping this email raises awareness at a minimum or preferable a solution. Thursday I will not be in school but I will follow up through email.

Please let Gabe know this was bullying and bullying is not ok. He was right to tell an adult and this is something he should be persistent about communicating to the teacher (me) with an emphasis on "someone took my hat off my head and kept it!".


So, now I'm waiting to hear what happens. I don't expect to get the hat back. And as I told the teacher, its just a hat. But the hat isn't the matter I'm concerned with. I'm concerned with the ACTION. When Dallas was in Kindergarten at this school he had a BRAND NEW COAT stolen. Never to be seen again. I know that these kids don't stop with a hat. And to be so bold as to take it OFF HIS HEAD??? Wow. I mean, come on. Kids can have the same hats! Parents can shop at the same stores. What gives him the right to just TAKE it? Even if he DID think it was his (if he'd lost his, I don't know) what gives him that right? Its a total bully move, and NOT ok in my book!!!

What would you as parents do from this point??


Ok, on a lighter note, I have a cute thing to share from my night. At dinner time the kids and I were sitting at the table eating. Dallas and I sit on one side, Kaleb and Kendyl on the other, Gabe is on the end, and Todd's spot would be on the other end, between the babies and I. So, on any given day if the twins have something stuck on their face I'll tell them "wipe your cheek" or something of that sort. Well, if its something big that they're not getting, I'll ask their twin to look at them and wipe it. They happily do this. Well, tonight it was Kaleb who had something on his face. And I was trying to show him where to wipe it. I told him "Kaleb, wipe your nose with your napkin." And do you know what the twins did? He looked at Kendyl and she looked at him, and he goes to wipe her nose! It was just instinct for him to do it. He could SEE her nose. It gave Kendyl and I the giggles, and he looked at me like "what??? I'm wiping my nose!" She then took her napkin and wiped his nose for him! Ahhhh, twins. I love it!