I hate pay day.

Odd statement for many I know. But I do. I hate payday. Hate it with a passion. I hate getting the money deposited in my checking account, I hate figuring out bills, and most of all I hate shopping. Something I thought I'd NEVER say. Ever. But lately, I hate it all. Hate to me is a really strong word. And one I like to say I don't use very often. But I've come to hate the above listed things. Mostly because they revolve around money. And for me, and my family right now, money is the root of all bad things.

If you didn't guess by now, today was pay day. I wrote out the bills: my car payment, phone, cell phone, electric for two houses, gas for two houses. After all the necessities were paid, I have a whopping 292.03 left. And then I went and put 75.00 into my car in gas. Amazingly enough with gas prices down to what they are right now it actually put me on full. I was pretty shocked. Usually that doesn't even get me to 3/4 of a tank. So, for that I'm thankful. After that, the kids and I headed to Costco. We got just the bare minimum there, and even shopped it smart. My kids like canned green beans vs. frozen, and their cheaper, so we got the big 6 pound cans of them there were 2.99 a can, vs the individual 14 ounce cans that were 7.99 for 8 of them. I'll just open the cans, and put the unused portion in my fridge to use over the week. They'll go. My kids love beans. I did the same thing with popcorn, that my kids have been begging for for weeks now. The pop corn was the one splurge I allowed myself, the one thing that wasn't on my list, and rather than the microwave bags that were 10.00 for 40 bags, I got a big 12 pounds jug of seeds that I can pop on the stove top, and get MUCH MUCH more for the value of 8.99. I only got the things I needed, that I was totally out of. Like chicken. We get 2 10 pound freezer bags of chicken, and it lasts us one entire month. Those are 23.99 a piece. I got one thing of hamburger. That was 13.49. I got one package of beef for stew meat. 11.32. I also got some canned fruit, a bag of potatoes, and one carton of taco seasoning. I got to the register, and my total was 174.61. So, if you're doing the math, that leaves me with less than 10 dollars in my checking account for the next two weeks, before the next pay day. And that didn't afford me the little luxuries like, oh, say bread? Nope. Didn't get any of that. How about some fresh veggies? Nope, none of that either.

So, Todd and I talked about it, and because times are so tight right now we decided we'd use our "emergency fund". Its a signature line of credit that I have with the bank. Its only 1,500.00 in value, but we don't touch it unless times are tight and we need the money. The payment is really reasonable, at 40.00 a month, if we were to use the entire thing, which we weren't. We were just going to use 200.00. Enough to put a tank of gas in Todd's car, and enough to get some bread, veggies, and some more pasta, since that's a pretty cheap way to feed the family. That would have stocked us up for the next month, since usually we only get 300.00 for a month of food. We stretch it and make it work. Well, I haven't shopped for food in over a month, and we're down to bare cupboards, so we thought this warranted dipping into the emergency fund.

I logged on to the online banking system, and tried to transfer money. It informed me that I couldn't and that I needed to talk to a customer service rep, because my account was due for a "review". I talked to someone, gave them all the necessary information on the income, etc. And she said she'd call me back. She called about 10 minutes ago to inform me that because of the economy and the tighter purse strings at the bank, and the fact that in the last couple of months I had a late payment on a different account, that I no longer qualify for that money, and that there was nothing she could do to help me.

So, here I sit. Not knowing what else to do other than to vent my sorrows to the only kind of venting system I have right now. How on EARTH am I going to get the next two weeks without some of the basic necessities? How on EARTH am I going to feed my children when I don't have things like bread, or even the stuff to make dough to make bread?


I know there are many who say "go to a food bank" or something of that nature. Well, most places like that require you to show proof of income. And they all take the GROSS income amount, never the Net. They never take into account that its health insurance costing my family 700.00 plus a month. They just look at Todd's gross income, put it in their system, and say "there's nothing we can do for you." We're unfortunately one of those "working poor" families that doesn't qualify for help. No matter how badly we need it some times.

UGH!!!! I hate pay days. I hate them with a passion.