And again I say, its been forever.

Wow. It amazes me how so much time can lapse between visits to this blog. It amazes me how life seems to speed by in a hurried rush that doesn't allow for me to sit down and let my mind relax. I find these days that that is what it takes for me to be able to update. And I find that most days I just can't let my mind slow down enough to empty out!!

I'll start by updating about the things I've recently talked about. . .namely my aunt. She's come SO far in the last three weeks! She's finally out of the coma, and has been moved to a rehab hospital on the other side of town. She's starting to mouth words (can't talk due to the trach they have placed in her) and is recovering physically each day. There is still a very long road a head of her, but she's AMAZING! She still has days that are spotty with who and what she remembers. But I have all the confidence in the world that that will improve with time.


Todd and I are doing well. Things are starting to get really really busy for Todd. He has many commitments with church which keep him gone a minimum of 2 nights a week. He's involved in many different musical things, which suits him VERY well. We miss him while he's gone, but I'm so glad that he's able to do things that he loves!!!

We're still struggling with the whole medical insurance thing. We had applied and had our kids on MA as a back up medical plan. They went through Todd's as the primary, and MA as their secondary to help cover the medical costs that we simply can't afford with how insanely expensive his medical is. . . and then I got an income from doing day care. . .and it puts us 100.00 a month OVER the limit to get help. Its been DEVI STATING to us. It takes away the freedom to take my child to the doctor if he needs to be seen. Because right now we have 900 going out the door in premium each month, and we still have to meet a 5,000 deductible. Its insane. I hate being in this place. As a parent I want to be able to take my child to the doctor whenever they NEED it. And right now we wait as long as humanly possible because the cost is a minimum of 175.00 per trip. Money I just don't have.

Other than that, I think we're finally starting to feel settled into the house. We have most everything unpacked, and we've even been able to start working on the basement some. For the last several months that has been the dumping grounds for anything and everything we haven't wanted to deal with just yet. The unfortunate part in all that was that the boys had to walk through that to get to their room. But its now about 70% cleared out and I'm feeling pretty good about the progress. The goal is to get the basement sheet rocked, and finished, and the basement bathroom finished by February so that I have throw a party here for my husband who will be turning the big 30. . . we'll see how the progress goes!!!



The kiddos. . .I think I'll update on them one by one.

KALEB:

My bubby boy. Where to begin! He's such a sweet little boy! He's so loving, and caring. And his love for animals grows more and more each day!! On the flip side of that loving caring little boys is a temper waiting to happen! You can see that temper flip in two seconds flat. I think its because of his deep emotions that we see these flips!!

Kaleb is really enjoying preschool! He's getting to know the other kids, and I think he also really enjoys having Kendyl there with him!!! His conferences went really well! They're going to look into getting him some speech therapy, but other than that, he's right on track!!!

A couple weeks ago I found a lump on Kaleb's belly. I took him to the doctors immediately. This lump is about the size of a pea, just up and right (his right) of the belly button. The doctor seems to think that it is just a fatty cyst. We have to see a specialist to be sure, but for now there is no immediate concern.

He continues to be into animals, Diego, and Tigger and anything blue. But has now added Cars, and Buzz light year to the list!!!

KENDYL:

My princess!! Kendyl is turning into a real girly girl! But the funny thing is, I think she'd be the most content if she could be dressed up like a girly girl, wrestling in the mud with the boys!!! She can hold her own with those three!! And she also knows just what to do to keep them wrapped right around her little finger!!!

Kendyl got her ears pierced in August, and has just now hit the point where she can switch them out for other earrings! And she's LOVING it!!! Anything pink or purple is good with her! Its so cute to see her whole face light up with excitement over them when we change them out!!!

Kendyl is becoming quite the mommy's girl! She is forever telling me how much she loves me, and even told me this last week that when she grows up she wants to be just like mommy! I know that these days are short lived, so I'm eating it up!!!

She still continues to be into Tinkerbell, and anything girly that's pink and purple, my little ponies, and necklaces. But has added to the list, earrings (now that she has pierced ears!) and barbies (since her aunt got her one!).

GABRIEL:

Mr. Gabe. Where do I start with him? He continues to be one of the biggest challenges I face day to day. He's very much like Kaleb in the fact that he's one of the sweetest boys you'll ever meet. But the SECOND things don't go his way, WATCH OUT! The temper that this little man possesses scares the living whits out of me. He gets angry, and ANYTHING around him can become his next victim if he's in the right mood. I'll lash out and hit a sibling, he'll slam doors, he'll make faces behind my back (or so he THINKS they're behind my back.). The list could go on. These rages seem far and few between, but its still something we're struggling with!

Gabriel is SO passionate about the things he loves. He loves fiercely and with his whole heart. We see this often times with family, and friends. He loves so strongly that it takes nothing for him to be heart broken at the drop of a hat.

Gabriel had his conferences last week as well. And things DEFINITELY need to improve this year. I think a big portion of what we're seeing right now is difference in teachers from last year to this year. Things that last years teachers took more in a free spirit-that's just Gabriel-light this teacher wants fixed NOW. His writing for example. Its something he struggles VERY much with. This teacher wants to see him working towards improving that day by day. And we agree whole heatedly. He's a very smart kid, and excels very much in math. Reading he is still a head, but unless its something that Gabe is passionate about, he has NO desire to read about it.

He continues to be VERY passionate about donkeys, sharks, batman and pirates. He's also still very into the color blue.

DALLAS:

Mr. Dallas. . . Where to start with him? Dallas continues to be our tender heart. He's a very emotionally driven child, and VERY into the emotions of those around him. He's very in tune to if someone is upset, and what he can do to help make it better. He has an amazing talent for brightening peoples days!

We're working with Dallas on appropriate talking times, and when he's just simply sharing too much. Dallas has ALWAYS been a talker, and could talk to a brick wall for 4 hours and STILL have something new to say. Its one of his blessings, but can also be a curse for him. He will often tell people he doesn't even know way more information than they needed. We're working with him on filtering the things that come out of his mouth. We don't want to take away from his natural God given ability to be comfortable with anyone, at any time. But sometimes when his mouth gets away from him he's hurting feelings of those around him, or offending someone depending on the case, and he doesn't even realize it until its too late.

Dallas had his conference last week as well. He continues to soar above most of his class mates, and six weeks into the school year has already completed 85% of the third grade standards. The teachers goal is to continue to find things to challenge him and keep him plugged into the class. He isn't alone in this excelled studies. There are a few other kids in the class in the same boat, so they are often times grouped together and allowed to work together on the things that are more challenging.



All in all life has been pretty good. There's been ups and downs but honestly, where in the roller coaster of life will you not find those!?!?! We deal with our struggles day to day, and keep putting one foot in front of the other marching farther on, one day at a time!!!

There's been awesome progress with my aunt!!!

And while she still remains in the ICU, there's been progress! For the first time in almost two weeks, she opened her eyes!!!! She's starting to come out of her coma and is giving us signs that she's coming back around!!! I'm so excited!!!


Here's the link to her caringbrigde site!!!



CaringBridge


I'm SO excited!!!!

My aunt was in a car accident. Car vs. Semi

My aunt was in a car accident last night. Car vs. Semi.

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She's in the ICU right now in critical condition. She smashed almost all the bones in her face, has bruising on the brain. They're not sure if there's brain damage or not. She broke four ribs, bruised her heart and lungs, and shattered her right wrist. She'll need surgery on the face, and the wrist but right now they're waiting to see what's going on with the brain before doing anything.

I was the first one there last night at the hospital. I watched the helicopter go over top of me with her in it. When I got there, she was listed as Jane Doe. I had to give them identifying things about her to verify that it was her. They coudn't use hair color, or length, because she was SO badly beaten in the face. They had to use a tattoo that she had on her left forearm. Then it was a race for me with family on the phones to get AS MUCH information as I could get on her and her health so that the doctors could have as much information as they could get.

The rest of the family came up last night, well, as many as could get there. I was surrounded by her four siblings, some of my cousins, and some other family.

She doesn't look like herself. Her face is SO swollen, and she looks so rough. Please please please please pray for my aunt Barb.

I'm heading back to the hospital this morning. As of the last update I heard there was no change over night. She'll be going for another scan this morning, and we'll have more news from there.

Here is the link to the newspaper article I could find on it.

Barb's Accident

The twins' first day of preschool

Yesterday was my babies first day of preschool! The first day was a "parents included" day. We went in and did a scavenger hunt of the class room so that they could learn where different things in the class room were, and they could meet the three teachers that will be in their class with them. The twins were SO in awe of the room. They wanted to play, and check it all out.

After the hunt was over they had all the kids sit in the circle by their names, and they sang a song. When the song was done the time came to split from the parents briefly so that they could talk specifics with the adults, and give a test run for how the kids would do with the seperation. Kaleb hopped right up, and was ready to go. Kendyl on the other hand had the moment of realization that mommy wouldn't be going with. And the tears started. But the wonderful thing of having twins kicked in. Kaleb came and held her hand and walked her out with him. I guess they held hands the whole rest of the time they were apart from me!! How sweet is that??? THey do that kind of thing for each other all the time!!!

When it was time to go the kids all went to get their back packs. Kaleb grabbed one and came to me. I knew right away that it wasn't his. It didn't have his name, or his little turtle key chain on it. We went back to replace it where it came from, and another mom said "oh, that's my sons". We began talking and it turned out that that was a back pack from the other set of twins in the class room!!! What are the chances out of all the preschool classes that there would be two sets of twins!!! They are Boy/Boy fraternal twins. We got to talking, and she was asking about Kaleb and Kendyl's age, and when their birthday was. So I told her that the twins were born July 13. And her face just looked shocked. She asked me where, and I told her what hospital. Her twins were born on July 13, at a different local hospital! Not ONLY are there two sets of twins. But two sets of twins born the EXACT same day!! Now the chances of that are EVEN LESS!!! I thought it was really something cool though!!!


Here are pictures of my twins their first day of preschool!!

Kaleb, he was SO excited to go!!!

Kendyl, all ready to go

Kaleb and Kendyl, 4 years old

Off we go!!!

Blessings. . . .but also a curse?

You know those things in life, that on any given day you'd count as a blessing? The ones that usually don't get to you, and you enjoy? Well, I've come to find that some of those blessings can also be a curse. And its something I've been struggling with lately. I know part of it is because I've been under a lot of stress lately with my kids, and starting school and all that that entails. But it doesn't make the struggle any less!!!

The first one that I'm talking about is all the neighborhood kids. We live on the corner of two semi busy streets. We have a four way stop out front. And for the most part my kids are SUPER with the set up. They know they're allowed to ride their bikes on the sidewalk only, in front of our house, and Todd's brother's house (which is right next door. We are the only two houses on the end of the block. So its pretty safe!). They know that they're allowed to play in our yard, and next door, again at Todd's brothers house. They've been GREAT about it all summer. They've enjoyed the little bit more freedom that has come with living here and having a much less busy road than where we were before. They've enjoyed the summer with playing with their cousins, and getting outside. They even enjoyed helping take down the two big trees in our front yard. They've had a great summer, outdoor wise. And I would truly consider that a blessing. My kids can have some freedom, yet there home and around, and I know where they are. I consider that an even bigger blessing.

The side of that that's feeling like a curse right now, is both a blessing and a curse. We have several kids around us. And we are the house that everyone decides to play at. We are the house they come ringing the door bell at. We are the ones that get saddled with the extra kids to keep an eye out for. The kids who come age anywhere from age 11, down to age 3. And on any given day its not a problem at all. There are several different cultures mixed in there as well. Its been kind of fun for the kids to experience. And they really enjoy having kids other than just our little 4 pack to play with. But there's a BUT with this all!!!!!

The BUT in all of that, is what about the days where I'm not in the mood to keep an eye on all the neighborhood kids? What about the days where I want to just let my dogs out and go back in to hang out with my kids? What about the days where I don't want to have to be "on" all the time? Or the days where I tell them that my kids are getting ready for bed and can't come out, and they still continue to ring the door bell over and over and OVER again because they don't speak very clear English and I'm not sure they're fully understanding me? What about the times where I just want to enjoy a simple bonfire with my kids, and not have every single kid in the neighborhood looking to have a s'more too? What about the days where I have company of my own, and don't want to have all the kids around looking to get into the line and eat with us???? These are the times I'm struggling with!!!

I told Todd the other day that I think its SUCH a blessing to have our house be THE house. Because that means that I never have to worry or wonder about my kids. They're all HERE, they're not begging to go elsewhere, because elsewhere always comes to them. And I've really enjoyed getting to know the neighborhood kids. There really is a great group of kids here. And I'm thankful that my kids have the opportunity to have friends like that where they didn't before.

But again, there's that BUT!!! I can't simply let the dogs out to go potty any more. Because someone is ALWAYS watching our door. And the second it opens there in our yard looking to play. That then distracts the dogs from their job at hand and we're out there even longer. Which then affords MORE kids the chance to come over and try to play . .. .are you seeing the cycle here????

My sister in law and I were talking. Because the kids will often stray to her sand box or swing set too. And I guess the one day our closest neighbor went looking for her 3 year old girl. The family behind us is Hmong and they are kind of hard to understand. She asked my sister in law if she was the one who did day care. Sara told her "no, that's next door." So she looked at her daughter and said in Hmong, with pointing, so that Sara caught the just of it, that it wasn't ok for her to be at Sara's, and instead she should be at my house. . . simply because I have a day care. And this has become apparent from some of the older Hmong kids as well. They're allowed to play at my house (this is coming from their own mouths) because "there's a day care here". Yes, there IS a day care here. . . .but my day care consists of my own four children, my 5 month old little guy, and one of the neighbor kids who's going into 5th grade. Those are the ones that have the OK to be here for daycare. Those are the ones that are paying for my time, effort, energy. Those are the ones that I'm responsible for.

My problem isn't the money. My problem is the assumption that I will be ok letting the kids be here. My problem is that they just assume that the kids can have free reign of my house. My problem is that they aren't telling their kids its NOT ok to just walk into my house. And no matter how many times I'VE told them that its not ok to just walk in, and that if they're here to play they need to stay OUTSIDE, it just doesn't get through.

I know each area will have its issues. . . .but when the problem is this invasive so that I don't feel like I get any ME time, or any MY FAMILY time, becaus there's always someone waiting in the wings to pounce. .. its hard.

My second blessing and a curse has to do with my husband. And with this one I tread really fine water. Because its about his first love. . ..his music. I am so blessed to have such a talented husband. One who can play almost any instrument. One who has a true passion for music, the arts, and performing. And when I say it was his first love, I genuinely mean that. And I'm so glad that he has so many opportunities to participate. He currently plays three Sunday's a month at church with different teams. Which means Sunday mornings, but also means Wednesday nights. He plays with a small "oldies" group. They play random things and don't usually require much by way of practice. He's gotten to do some very cool things with that group, such as playing at local ball games, etc. And he's also with an outreach group from church. This is the one that he clicks the most with. They do a lot of the style of music he loves and he has a good time with them. This is the one that he's gone to the recording studio with, as well as recorded stuff for TV. And I know that he loves every single second of it.

Now, the reason I tread the fine water is because sometimes I get sick of the constant GO GO GO of it all. It seems to go in phases. Sometimes there's nothing, and he misses it. And other times there's SO much going on and he's gone all the time. And that can get very very hard on me. Being a stay at home mom is wonderful, but I NEED that break and help in the evening. Or I'll lose my mind! And when he's gone with stuff all the time I don't get that break. I don't get that down time. I think the hardest part of all of that is that he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that I'm always here, always "on". He doesn't realize that I feel like a single mom a lot of the time in his busy times. I feel like its just me and the kids, and he gets to come home and sleep and go back at it again. So while I know its a blessing, because he's doing what he loves. . . its a curse because I get SO burnt out.

This topic comes on top of the fact that he's entering a busy season. Music, drama at church, projects to help people with, etc. And I know I'll be entering a super crazy time for me with the boys in school, the twins entering preschool, day care, the dogs, etc. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed with it all. . . .


Now, all that being said. . .yes, the blessings WAY outnumber the curses. And I'm so thankful for my husband, my kids, and our life. I just needed to get some of that off my chest.

First day of school 2009

Today was the big day!! Today Dallas started 3rd grade, and Gabriel started 2nd grade. I'm still in shock that they're this old!! Where has the time gone!?!? They were both very excited to get up and go to school this morning! They were up at 6:30, dressed, and waiting with backpacks on! We got them fed, and took some pictures, and then headed off for our walk to school! By the time we got there it was CRAZY at the school! There were parents, cars, buses, and kids EVERYWHERE! I walked my boys, and also my daycare girl D into the school. D took off for her 5th grade class up stairs, and I walked Dallas and Gabe to their "pod". They're both in the same area this year, just with a little bit of seperation. Dallas took off for his class, but Gabriel wanted me to walk him to his door! He's always been my shy guy. So I did that, and then headed for my walk back home!


Here are my big guys this morning!!!

Dallas, 8 years old, first day of 3rd grade

Gabriel, 7 years old, first day of 2nd grade

Dallas and Gabriel

Kaleb and Kendyl don't start school until next week, but I couldn't leave them out of the pictures!!!!

Kendyl, 4 years old
Kaleb, 4 years old

Fawn-Doe-Rosa Wildlife Reserve

This weekend we took the kids to the Fawn-Doe-Rosa Wildlife Reserve. We haven't been since the twins were just under a year, and we took the boys alone! So this was our first trip with all four kids! The weather was BEAUTIFUL for it, and my kids LOVED it. I figured since its been SO long since I've updated that I'd do a nice picture update from our weekend!!!


The idea on this park is that its very hands on for the kids. You can touch almost all the animals (minus the ones like the grizzly bears, and wolves and things of that nature!), and you can interact with them. The big draw is the free roaming deer. It is really a very neat place to take the kids to let them get hands on with nature!!!

Here is Kendyl with one of the Ponies. She could have stood right there all day and kept petting that pony! And as you can see, the pony could have done the same!

Here is Dallas feeding one of the horses.

Kaleb, my little animal lover, was in his GLORY! He has a soft spot for "baby animals" Here is is with what he thought was a baby goat. It was really just a small goat.

The twins (and my niece Kristen) feeding the greedy greedy goats! We had several close calls, and one bag actually stolen right out of the kids hands. We finally had to tell them to put a little in their hands, and then hide the bag behind their back to the goats couldnt' get them!

These are Todd's favorite! He LOVES baby goats! He hopes one day to have a place that we can have goats! He spent a long time just watching these wee ones!!!

I took this picture for my Gabriel. He's a donkey lover! His favorite stuffed animal (lovie, whatever you want to call it!) is a stuffed donkey he's dubbed "nigh". In his opinion this donkey looks like just like his nigh! So we were trying to get a "wall worthy" picture! I think this one works!

One of the wolves with a treat!

The dear just come up to you while you're around the pond. Its an amazing experience for the kids!

I love the smile on Kendyl's face in this one!

This deer was a little leery with the larger group of kids (just behind this!)
but Dallas was able to get her to eat out of his hand still!

Kaleb, again in his glory!

Look at that happy boy with the donkey!!!

My kids and all their cousins on Todd's side.

Todd, myself, and our kiddos!!!

It really was a great day spent with family and friend! And many wonderful interactions and memories were made for the kids!!!


Tomorrow should bring pictures of my big boys first day of 3rd grade and 2nd grade! WOW!!!