I have so many things going on in my head lately. I don't even know where to begin on getting them down. First and foremost I don't want this to become a pity post. Because pity is certainly not what I'm after. I'm more just looking to get some things off my chest in an effort to remain sane through the next several weeks and months.
I actually think I'm going to start in the reverse order of my title. I'm going to start with the double trouble at three. Because man alive, that is where ALL my energy seems to be focused lately. Kaleb and
Kendyl are proving to be very. . . .we'll say opinionated for lack of a better word. And they're driving me nuts. I ask them to do something and they look at me long enough to acknowledge that they heard me, and then they turn around and keep doing what they're doing. I can talk soft, I can talk loud, heck I can even yell and it doesn't seem to make one bit of difference to them. They almost have this heir about them as if to say "we out number you mom, good luck getting us to do anything." They are perfect angels if you're dealing with one or the other. But the SECOND you put them together its like you're giving them their other leg to stand on and they're twice as strong. Its almost as if they can read each others minds and can work together without words just to push all of mommy's buttons. And for the record, they're pros at finding them! No effort needed. No-
siree. They have that nailed!!! Any given day the simplest of tasks become a battle of wills. And yes, I know there are SO many parents out there who will say "you're just making everything a battle, you're not picking your battles and letting the little things go". And you know, that may be the case on some things. But how am I supposed to react when I give them something simple like walk 15 steps to their bedroom to put their blanket on their bed. I remind them, I redirect them, I remove the distraction, I get on their level and tell them, really any technique possible. And they DON'T LISTEN. So then we do the '
ol take their hand, pick up the blanket, walk them to their bed to put it in there, and then walk them to time out. Think it phases them? Nope. Not in the least!!! I'm at the end of my rope. Seriously. I'm shot. I need a break from this. Things will be easier at 4 right???? They have to be!! I don't know that my sanity could take another year of this!!!
The funny thing is that I don't remember it being like this with the boys. I mean sure, when Dallas was 3, Gabe was 18 months approaching two. And you pit the terrible twos against the tragic threes I can see how some days one would weigh out over the other. And when Gabe was three I had brand new twins in the house. I honestly don't remember what he was like
temperament wise at three. The twins and selling a house took up so much of my mental
capacity that year. (very sad as a mother to admit, but its unfortunately what happened) I know part of it could also be the fact of two of them at the same time going through it? The boys always piggy backed their stages off each other. So it was terrible 2's for two years in a row type thing. And at this point I can tell you that I'm just. . .yeah. I think two years with one child at a time might just be easier!!!!!
I know so much of how they're behaving and acting out is directly related to the house stuff, their daddy being gone, and the extra stress that's on us all in general right now. There's just so MUCH. I really thought by this time that we'd be in the new house for sure. And instead we're still sitting with a kitchen with holes in (granted there are cabinets in there now!) a bathroom that's half sheet rocked, a basement that has holes in the
ceiling and walls torn down with electrical wires exposed, carpet that is so beyond nasty that it needs to be replaced soon, but I can't replace it yet because I refuse to watch them walk all over nice new carpet with their nasty dirty selves!
Ahhh, it is all just getting to be too much. I'm really sick of feeling like a single mom. Which on most days is what I feel like. Todd is usually only here to sleep. He's either at the house working, or is at church doing music. I know the music is his outlet and he needs it. But right now I wish I could just say STOP!!! Choose your family right now. Put us first. Music comes first so much of the time. And in all honesty is a part of why we're still working on the house. He'll drop everything and run for music and many days have been lost or wasted because of it. Again, I know he has to to keep his sanity. But I wish there was a point to draw the line. Say yes, but not for a few months. Get things done and over with so that we can get IN there. And then have at it. A perfect example of the picking music thing is Valentines day. He'll be gone playing at a marriage retreat for another church. While I sit home alone yet again with the kids. Now the day itself isn't a huge deal. I realize that its just a hallmark holiday. But still it's bothering me a little. Because if for nothing else it is another day that is scheduled to be about us. With how busy we are its really hard to schedule any "us time". And that day seemed as good as any to do so. Even if it was for something simple like going to dinner kid free.
It all has to come to an end soon. We have to be out of the old house no later than mid April. So I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But really . .. what is that light looking like right now? Its looking a little cloudy, a little hazy. A little. .. . . a little like we'll be moving in with significant construction still going on. And that worries me. With little kids, 3 dogs, and a bird, it just seems like so much.
I can't wait till there is a time when I don't have to vent about the stupid house situation on my blog!!! If you made it all the way through that, thank you so much for listening!!!!
